I am in JICA training center in Fukushima at midnight

I think about my carrier for a future. But I can not reach an answer, because my desirable carrier is so big and so fantastic, so I think always what I should do. I want to go abroad and work in foreign country. I want to feel foreign culture and I learn other way to think. I think foreign people do other action for me. I see that and I learn that action. I want to know that why do they do? why do they say it? why do they think it? I want to know about human except japan. So, I want to go abroad but I must speak foreign language. But to get other language is very difficult. I have studied English since I was a junior high school student. But now I do not speak English very well. Why do I speak English? It is very annoying to me. Now I am in JICA training center in Nihonmatsu before fortnight. I want to speak English. But for speaking English, I should learn a rule of English writing systems, many vocaburaries, correct pronounce and speedy reading skill. English is very difficult. But I think that if I will be in foreign country for a year, I might speak English. I think that it is important to live a foreign country, because the environment force me to speak English. However, I want to work high salary company or organization. So, I think that such company requires high level English skills, such as business writing skill, English negosiation, English presentation and English management skill. It is impossible for me to get that skills. What should I do? I am very confused and sad. I am already 36 years old. My leftover lifetime is a little amount. I can not waste a time. I must concentrate to get my purpose. Although, I do not recognize my purpose. from now I will stay in Kenya for two years. After that, my purpose might be changed. So, I do not know what I should do. All I do is to continue to think, face problem, resolute that and I improve my skills and my academics. Thinking from another view is nesessary to make a deal or solution. My academics are engineering prospective, administrative prospective and law prospective. These prospectives are very intaresting for me and help me think about every problem. So now I try to make a solution by thinking from several views of each prospective. Take easy, Take care of, make it easy, Simple, Foolish, Passion, Do not scare the mistake ,try and error, PDCA cycle.